Thursday, November 27, 2008

65 days

Well i had thanksgiving with my wife and family. We went to get some coffee and to talk. She still doesn't believe in me and doesn't want to take that leap of faith with me. The rest of the visit went pretty good and it was very easy to be myself around her and her family. It was so hard to leave the place i so wanted to be at. Why the hell is everything so hard. My son started to get upset that i was leaving after spending the day as a family. I miss my son and want nothing but the best for him. We talked about the fact we don't want another man or woman raising our son. I just want to be a family why is that so hard. Why did i take so long to get sober, why did i start drinking again the summer of 07. Why am i doing everything right and healing myself and the rest of my world sucks. Why. Why. Why. Those questions are killing me right now. I know i need to slow down and take it one day at a time. And to just breath. What happens will happen and i have no control over any of it.

Thank you Aaron for the talk i needed it.

2 comments:

indistinct said...

Sometimes when I'm asking the question why, I stop and look in the mirror. Why am I in the place I am? It's because of what I had done, the choices I had made, the search for the easier softer way.

Keep working the program, keep on keeping on. 65 days, way to go!

Shadow said...

the answers will come. they will. remember, baby steps. and that means, for now anyway, be grateful and enjoy the good that you DO have. hugs!

guess what the word verification is down below???

shado

how weird....