Confidants. Did you know that there is a big world out there. It is amazing what you learn when you are not looking at the top of your shoes when walking around. I can fell the trust in myself coming back. Trust that's a hard one for a alcoholic to regain, don't get to high because it is a long fall to the bottom again. I'm a pretty big guy and i can hold my own in a lot of situations. But it was a liquid that completely controlled me and my actions. My dreams and goals where set on a pretty low bar. My wife hayed that fact about me, why is it that everyone else can see the potently in you but you. You would think that me if anyone would know me. How could that be any farther from the truth. This rediscovery in myself is so weird and strange. I know what i like to do like hiking for example but i hated it when i was drinking. That meant getting up a doing things i wanted to go do, but it was so far a way from the store. This past 56 days i have really started to see the little things again. The fact that i get paid to see the sun rise(the only true guaranty in life). How many times in a day i can make people laugh or laugh at myself. The countless smiles on my sons face and his many silly laughs. I know that today is still young and I'm starting to see the little things again. What else can a man like me do but go out and embrace it and really start to enjoy it again. Alcohol can take so many things away from you, starting with how you define yourself. I know it is early in the AM and my day can go any sort of way. But I'm the only one who can let myself get mad or upset. The right mind set is such a important thing for recovery. There is this very young kid in my group that shows up on Saturday that said "i need to keep life uncomfortable because if i don't i will start all over again". How can he be so wise in that fact which took me 35 years to learn.
I have hope and faith my wife and i will work this out.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
a mans new world of living with out alcohol
3 comments:
you've just reminded me of something that i was also astounded with in the beginning. seeing the world again. the little things. smiles, like you say. to savour enjoyment. nature, plants, flowers, birds, the sounds, the smells. it was like i was rediscovering the world. and then the realisation, that it's not such a bad place after all. you have your world in the palm of your hand today. make the most of it and enjoy it...
When we accept and forgive ourselves, the discomfort will start to disappear. It took a long to get to this point, and it will take a while to get back. Just remember that God has your back and you don't have to look at the tops of your shoes anymore. Call someone if you need to. You will help them more than they help you. That is a guarantee you can always count on.
I hope that all works out too. It will work out one way or another.
Post a Comment