Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I was doing so well

15 days since my last post. Where does the time go, what has been going on in the last two weeks. Things at home have been going well, my wife is on vacation. We didn't even argue or fight before she left. This is a first for us, we would always pick little fights with each other before one of us would travel. I don't know why we would do this but we did. This time it was so different we worked together on getting her ready for her trip. Doing things for others, i didn't fully understand that when i was drinking. The way i was it was all about me and my needs. This time i wanted to help and be a service to her and not a hinder. The reward was the smile on her face knowing i was helpful. Being a single parent for the week is tuff, i had four days off from work and by the end my son and i where getting kind of tired of each other. He still didn't want to go to school this morning but i know it was the first time in four days that he had to go back. I took it as he wanted to stay home with me. I know it is selfish of me but it made me feel better. My wife comes home on Saturday and i can't wait to see her. She says i have nothing to worry about with her on this trip but there is a little bit of me that is scared as hell of her being out there. With everything that has happened over the past seven months i still feel i need to be a little bit guarded. When she gets back home and everything goes as planned then i well fully trust her. Right know i feel i need to still be a little guarded is that wrong of me?

Picked up my eight month chip on Saturday as well. I'm so proud of me to get through the hell of our separation and the joy of us getting back together again and to stay sober. 245 days they really do add up. If you take them one day at a time.

Monday, May 11, 2009

I'm back and it only was 4 days

Wow i made it back here pretty quick for once. I had a decent weekend, the meetings i went to where just what i needed. Drama free until Saturday night We went to a friend of the family for dinner. My very fat ass(i am still down 25lbs since i quit drinking)broke her most important chair that supports her back. The damn chair is 20plus years old and the back broke. I sit in this chair every time I'm there, she blows up on me. "You know that chair is my life line for my back" IT'S A F#*%ING CHAIR move on i offered to fix it i said i was sorry. She could not hear me, if i was standing there naked she would not have noticed. So i go out to the garage to look for some wood glue. My wife and son where inside with her and she bashes me the whole time i was in the garage. When i come back in my wife says we our leaving that know one is going to talk about me or her family that way. So we left and went to a friends house and had a great dinner and conversation. Sunday meet the same friends for breakfast and had a great morning until we where on our way home. My wife's mom was coming over for dinner that night for mothers day. Well she calls and is all pissed off that we didn't call her in the morning to wish her happy mothers day. We didn't give her a time for dinner we don't respect her, we don't care about her. Her mom has depression and PTSD and has spent a lot of time in the loony bin, oh yea we have also bailed her out of jail twice. But we don't care about her even after she tryed to kill herself and my wife took care of her getting her to the hospital and again the loony bin. So my wife really can't stand her mom much and now wants nothing to do with her. Her mom then calls me and trys to turn me against her saying all sorts of crap about my wife. I feel very stuck in the middle but I'm standing with my wife on what she wants. She doesn't want to see her mom and doesn't want our son around her mom. That's fine with me I'm here for my family and i will support what ever she wants to do when it comes to her family. It's a good thing i just finished steps 6 and 7 a little humility went a long way with this crap going on all weekend. Oh yea 230 days it's been awhile since i put that number up there at least that feels really good.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

where have i been

Has it really been this long between posts. Well i chaired my second meeting, the topic was god shots. Those little moments that let you know you are on the right path. The ones that keep you doing what you on the right path. There where a lot of great shares and people seemed to like the topic so it went well. My wife has a trip with her single friends coming up and I'm a little nerves that she might behave badly. That would be her choice and then i would have to deal with it. But being the full time father for a week will be fun and tiring. Things have been going really well, she said she is falling in love with me again and i am also. Thanks Sarah for getting my ASS back here.