Tuesday, December 16, 2008

84 days

Why is it so hard to move on. She is done and moving on with her life she has already met someone she is interested in. I feel that this has been the problem the whole time and i knew that there was something she wasn't telling me. She didn't want me to know she didn't want to hurt me. WELL I'M ALREADY F-ING HURT. NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT AND MOVE ON. I wish it was that easy i have to deal with the pain of it. It would be so easy to go down the old road of drinking but that's not what i want. I have made a life choice for me and my son to be a better man. The sledgehammer feeling in my chest is back the wind feels knocked out of me again. I don't want to be married to a liar and i know she has been telling her friends stories about me. That does really hurt but it justifies her to them for leaving me.

Oh well my life will get better it just hurts like hell right now.

I still hope for the best for me and my son

3 comments:

indistinct said...

My journey is different than yours but, like you, sobriety has not been an easy road. Lots of painful events that I had to stay sober through. I know I've said "one day at a time" more than once but, for me, it's been the best way through.

Tucked in with AA, learning to trust my Higher Power.

Glad your wanting to stay sober through all that pain. Doing it for you and your son. Way to go.

Shadow said...

i too still hope, wish, pray for the best for you and your son!

Banana Girl said...

Be grateful that you can now make sense of the rejection. Obviously, she had this going on while you were AWOL from the marriage with booze. Remember, the only wreckage you can make right is yours. She will have to clean up her own side of the street. As for the stories with friends, well, they are not important to your sobriety and none of your business. The only control you have is the control of giving this over to your HP. He will take care of you, always. See you at the meeting.....J.