Well i had my work x-mas party last night. Last year i went with my wife and we had a good time. This year talk about polar opposites the party was held in the same place and i could feel her everywhere. The flood of memories was hard but my new found respect and love for my coworkers and support from them was awesome. The support from different people who i only somewhat know is uplifting the way they can help and not even know it. I'm starting to learn that reaching out is not as hard as i thought it was. It takes a strong man to ask for help I'm learning that through AA and from my friends. I have hope in people again something i never really had because it usually meant that i would be let down. To put yourself out on that ledge is hard and yet rewarding. Sometimes the risk does out weigh the gains. What do you really risk any way, if someone lets you down give them another chance.
My pride has been taking a beating this last couple of months. I hate to quit on anything, but i quit on myself 19-20 years ago when i started drinking. I stopped dreaming setting goals and i have let myself down for so long. It feels good to look forward to the future and try to be a better me every day. I feel that the roller coaster that i am on of emotions and guilt is starting to level out. I need this time to stand on my own and prove to myself that i can handle what ever happens.
I will always have hope that's just who i am.
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a mans new world of living with out alcohol
4 comments:
being true to yourself is the be all and end all. others may let you down every now and again. yet, they may surprise you too and do the opposite. faith and trust. in yourself and others. that was very hard for me to do. it's getting easier...
The healing you are talking about and feeling is powerful and empowering. Let it in and keep it simple, honest, and open. Marvelous things are coming your way. Man, I am starting to sound like a fortune cookie! Just know you are cared about and loved. J.
You are doing great. And it will only get better. The past is done. Thankfully, there is today.
I was going to write you somthing Banana Girl left on my blog then I see she has already written you your own message similar to mine. So ditto what BG said. It is just like meeting i always think I have a cool share then BG says it first or better. I gotta find some new drunk friends if I'm ever going to look cool. Thanks BG :)
Fishstyx
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