What a up and down day i have had. I still feel so good about everything but i was cleaning the house. I would be in a room and a good memory would rush into my head and then the hurt of all of this. I need to move on she is, what is it about being dumped that is so hard to deal with. I would push the memory out of my head and things would get better then another one would hit me out of the blue. And my head would spin out of control. I feel it is just my mind telling me this marriage wasn't that bad. And a lot of good did happen but so did the bad. I'm still OK with this being over but these good memories still hurt. I know it's part of moving on but damn i want it to stop. I still want what the heart wants but the brain is finally moving on.
It is over.
I still hope for nothing but the best for all that i love. I'm looking forward to the unknown future of my life. I will be the best me because i am not drinking and i can live with that.
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2 comments:
memories are one thing no-one can take away from you. give some time, they will not hurt so much anymore. love and hugs!
I wish I could be there for your 90 day chip today--Monday. We are on the road. Sound like mentally you are on the road too. I get the feeling you might be starting to "white knuckle" the drinking thing and want to encourage you to stay close to Tony and the clan. They need you. Go there and be loved. You are worthy of it and it will strengthen you. Not for a fight, not for a spat, just for life. Hugs. J.
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