Well i was right she didn't want to see me on my b-day. Now i know how much she hates me. I have always tried to make her b-day something fun and nice. I put together two surprise parties her first b-day together with me and her 30Th b-day. I now know that i have no meaning in her life and how much hurt that she has. I just want to scream at the world for this loss of us. How can things have gone so bad in five days we where doing so well. I will always love her and want the best for her. I hate myself for challenging her on Tuesday and the words we said to each other.
My son and i are going to put up the x-mas tree today. That will be fun for him and i know we need to talk to him. To let him know that mommy and daddy are done being friends. I need to try to move forward but the heart wants what the heart wants. She showed yesterday what she wants to be on her own. I respect that she wants to follow her heart and dreams. All i wanted after these days of being sober is to help her with that. She thinks that these are just words and that i will do anything and say anything to hold on to her. But the truth is i do want to help her with her dreams and goals and support her through them and to be there for her. But i wont get that chance to prove it.
I'm a strong, kind, loving man and that's what our son needs. I hope we can still be friends through all of this. I know my world will be always brighter with her in it.
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5 comments:
there will always be a bond. you have a son together. hang on to what you have for now. who knows what lying up ahead. and be sure to know that smiles and happiness IS there too!
Hey there!. I just wanted to wish you a ...well...er, ah---HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (Someone's gotta do it-grin!)
You know, in Alcoholics Anonymous (I like to write out those words at least one time each day.) we have many sayings which sometimes seem a bit trite. But one of them is SO TRUE...now, listen:
All I gotta do is:
1. Trust God
2. Clean House
3. Help another alkie, or SOMEone!
And of course, don't drink--but you already do that! "Don't drink", I mean. Right?
RC It was suggested I come here, I'll be honest. Please Email me, so I can respond to you privately, OK?
...and I'll explain.
I'll be AWAY between 3PM and 10PM, (Eastern) I have two shows to play. So either Email me soon, or at any rate I'd answer you after 10 (8PM you time) OK? Please do this, I think you should be in contact with someone who understands.....
steveroni
fiddlemn@gmail.com
75 days ago was a new start this is just somthing that happened afterwards.
i chose you as one of my 7;
Here's the rules:
List 10 honest things about myself
Pass the award on to 7 bloggers
10 random honest things about ME and it is all about ME:
Just take it one day at a time. Great job on 75 days!
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