I'm so ready to get out in the world and start to explore my new found freedom. I just want to go out and have fun do what ever comes up. Yes that still means not drinking, there is so much i have missed out on. Like just keeping up with my friends, i don't know why but i want to take a pottery class. For some reason that sounds like a kick in the pants to do something so new and out of the norm. It feels so good to have myself back. The confidants is all the way back and so is the swagger. It still makes me a little nerves but what ever happens i can handle it. Handel it the right way they say there are three things in life that are the most stressful. 1. death of a loved on. 2. divorce well already working on that one. 3. selling a house and that starts this weekend. A friend of mine in AA is that line of work and he is going to handle the selling part. I'm just afraid we are going to lose are ass on the house. The house is the 2ND to last bond between me and her and i am looking forward to get it over with. To start fresh and close this chapter on my life with her. What sucks is i have put a lot of work into this house updating and improving it. The only room left to update is the main bathroom. The cats have done a number on the carpet. It will feel so weird to move out of the life we started and the family we started here. But all things come to an end she has told her friends that she has filled. That is another lie she is spreading we have not done that yet. She wants us to do that together and I'm not going to do that part with her. She wants to leave she can start the process not me. It kind of feels like a last stand i have. I'm so ready to get out and mingle with new people not to hook up just to make new friends and move on. My first priority is the well being of our son and my sobriety. Anything after that is just life taking it's course. I have said i feel like I'm rowing a boat across a pond. Now i am starting to go down a new river of the unexpected. I really don't care where it takes me just as long as my son is with me.
I am still full of hope and desire to be the best me possible. Sober is the only way to do it right, i truly feel that way. So this is where my life is heading 36 divorced with a kid. I know I'm not the only one in this same river but i do feel alone in my boat. So it goes I'm ready for this new test.
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a mans new world of living with out alcohol
3 comments:
I hope that it all works. I've found that I needed to stick close to the members rather than branch out into being with those outside the fellowship. I was still very tender and vulnerable. Stick with the winners in your program. They are important, especially at this time.
go with what feels good to you, even if it's pottery, and hold on to hope, you'll be amazed at who will come through on the other side...
I hear alot of hope in this post, you are doing great. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
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