110 days and my life is still up in the air. I went over to my house to talk about money when she gets her own place. She still doesn't want to file for divorce, but the separation is going full force. I still don't really know how to feel, i respect the decision to move out and try to be on our own. I have to get a 2ND job so i can afford to eat and have a little spending money. What ever happens i can handle it, the not wanting to file is what is throwing me off. She is still not 100% on divorce she just wants some space. For me i don't know what to do, part of me wants this and part of me thinks i need to be treated better. I just don't want to think, talk and worry about it. I need to keep doing what is right for me, I'm working on the steps. I'm on step 3 my sponsor has a good and simple way to get past this one. I need to ask my HP to help me not drink everyday and thank him every night. I still feel i need to have something good happen for me to really give it all over.I do feel like I'm trying to let go of more everyday and it makes me very cautious. I have become a planner in my new fond sobriety, no more flying by the seat of my pants.
I will always have hope for all that i love and that includes her. I want to be the best father to our son, i need to stay positive to stay on this path. I want to be the role model that i know our son needs.
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a mans new world of living with out alcohol
1 comment:
this can't be easy. everyone wants to know where they're going, what they'll be doing, who they will be doing it with. being in limbo is frustrating. i understand your feelings completely. that's when you have to remember 1 day at a time, 1 hour at a time if necessary. hang in there!
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