15 days since my last post. Where does the time go, what has been going on in the last two weeks. Things at home have been going well, my wife is on vacation. We didn't even argue or fight before she left. This is a first for us, we would always pick little fights with each other before one of us would travel. I don't know why we would do this but we did. This time it was so different we worked together on getting her ready for her trip. Doing things for others, i didn't fully understand that when i was drinking. The way i was it was all about me and my needs. This time i wanted to help and be a service to her and not a hinder. The reward was the smile on her face knowing i was helpful. Being a single parent for the week is tuff, i had four days off from work and by the end my son and i where getting kind of tired of each other. He still didn't want to go to school this morning but i know it was the first time in four days that he had to go back. I took it as he wanted to stay home with me. I know it is selfish of me but it made me feel better. My wife comes home on Saturday and i can't wait to see her. She says i have nothing to worry about with her on this trip but there is a little bit of me that is scared as hell of her being out there. With everything that has happened over the past seven months i still feel i need to be a little bit guarded. When she gets back home and everything goes as planned then i well fully trust her. Right know i feel i need to still be a little guarded is that wrong of me?
Picked up my eight month chip on Saturday as well. I'm so proud of me to get through the hell of our separation and the joy of us getting back together again and to stay sober. 245 days they really do add up. If you take them one day at a time.
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4 comments:
no it's not wrong of you. just as she needs to regain trust, you need to regain trust. both in yourself and in her... lots of love and wishes to you 3!
i think you are doing so great. it sounds like you have such a wonderful group wherever you are.
Just think of all of the times she sat waiting for you to sober up asking herself if she could ever trust to you quit. Trust is that mutual emotion that moves around us with circumstances requiring us to Let go and Let God. I am so happy for you and congrats on your milestone. Trust her. She is learning to trust you more each day and in so doing can be proud to call herself: Wife. Just be sure to slurp all over her when she gets home. Girls like that.
Congrats to you. Doing great ODAT. It works and you are doing the deal.
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