145 days and i survived Valentine's day, with a little twist. Let me explain, I over sleep and i missed my meeting. I have started to sleep better for me any way. My little dude and I went to watch a friends son play hockey by our house. The kid has mad skills and for only being in 8TH grade. Went to meet her to finish taxes, finished taxes. Then she caught me off guard and asked if i wanted to go to lunch, went to a really great place called Toast. She had banana fosters pancakes i had raspberry and white chocolate french toast it was a little slice of heaven. Then when we where leaving she again caught me off guard a asked if she could come back to the house. At first i was all nerves for some reason that's when i realized i was starting to take over. So i heard banana girl say just breath and my sponsor say when you feel like this turn it over. This feeling means that you are in charge and we both know you don't make the best life choices or you would not be here in AA. So i let it go and said that sounds great. We made it home and i tried to put my little man down for a nap i think he was just jazzed up because we where all together. So he didn't nap but played in his room. Then came the bombshell we where laying on the couch and she kissed me and said she has realized that it is her fear that is keeping us apart. The fear of me drinking, becoming a a-hole or abuse of. She realized if i start any of this again she can just leave and then end it. Then she said she wants to try again but at a slow pace. We both want more Independence and to be the people that we are. Two people who have individual goals to work towards but goals and dreams as a couple also. We both need the away time to be with our friends and do the things we like. Sorry i need a little Adhd moment here if you haven't tried the new cherry Dr. Pepper you should it rocks. Ok back to where i was going, we also need to set and work towards goals we set also.
She said what also helped change her mind was all the physical (I'm down 30lbs) and the emotional changes as well. I gave all the credit to the program without it i would be a lost soul. I know it is not all the program it's me working it and staying open and honest with myself about everything. Me being the real person who i am and that's what is really important.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
It sounds good. It's similar to the relationship that my wife and I have. We are together but don't have to do everything together. We can enjoy some different friends and some different activities. Neither of us feels as if we are smothering the other.
It can work, as long as you are both comitted to your own recovery - It certainly is doable!
i'm very happy for you... see, actions speak louder than words.
Breathe in, breathe out. No expectations. (Does not mean no demands--talk to your sponsor about that one) Let her own her fear just like you are. You might suggest she attend an al-anon meeting and learn what this mad disease is about. You could go with her. Those are the important things to do together. Just remember: (and this was the best advice I ever got regarding my spouse: she doesn't need to "get the program" but you do and your transformation will speak volumes. Attraction, not promotion. I am delighted for you. Do not stop coming to meetings. You will need them now more than ever. Hey, and share a bit, won't you! You could help so many with your story.
That's awesome. I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing about the Dr. Pepper thing right in the middle...
Post a Comment